Dealing with Discontentment.

I happened to read through Ramanujam's blog on the topic of "Discontentment in Gen-X". He does touch upon something that has concerned a great many of us. It is indeed very true that many of us find ourselves totally discontented so early in our lives. I will also happily admit that I happen to be one of those "Discontent" member of Gen-X. I will go a little further to say that "Discontent" is just the start of the process. Some of us are "Disillusioned". Why might that be and what can one do about it.

The word "Discontentment", after I spent some time thinking about it, lays it out very well. We have "filled" our lives up with all the things that we don't need but we thought we did. The "contents" of our "lives" are not the things that bring us happiness. As Ramanujam urges people do need to change the contents of their lives. While this might sound rather easy to do, it is in actuality a very hard thing to do.

It is very important to think about yourself in good detail before you choose how you want to change your life. One thing that I've realized is that at some point in the past, I did choose all the things to fill my life with all the things I have now. I did go wrong once. Actually I went wrong multiple times. I did make some changes which again did not have the desired effect. So, if you think that just changing a few things around is going to make a difference, you are wrong. You will eventually reach the point of "Disillusionment". Before you go any further, ask yourselves if you are just "Discontent" or "Disillusioned". I think it is very important to fail multiple times and actually reach the point of being "Disillusioned". Any changes you make to your life before that are very likely to be poorly thought through.

Here is what I've learned after what appears to be a lifetime of discontent and disillusionment. All choices you make are wrong and are doomed to fail. The problem is that one tends to put the cart before the horse in this situation. I can never pick today what will make me"content" tomorrow simply because when tomorrow comes I'm not the person who picked. How can I know what will make me happy tomorrow? The most I can do is guess. Such an approach relies on my guess being accurate. I have to face the reality that I'm too complicated a person to be predictable. For starters, I'm not a linear system. My reactions to situations are very variable. For instance, how I laugh when I hear a joke is so unpredictable. I've at many times laughed out of control at some jokes and can barely manage a smile at other times. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that any approach that relies on me trying to predict my state in the future is likely to be widely off the mark. As Ramanujam suggests, one needs to shorten the "extrapolation" window and create "milestones" that are not far out in the future. Steve Jobs touches upon this topic rather eloquently in his "Commencement Address at Stanford" with his first story and points out that you actually cannot connect the dots forward. Take the argument to their logical conclusion and you will realize that the only solution to the problem is to be "content" now.

That's not easy. It will probably take you a lot of work to get there. You can start by trying to set yourselves a goal to reach everyday. Start your day off with a simple plan that you will be content if you achieve this today. Continue this process for a while till your mind is conditioned to accept "contentment" based on daily goals. Most of us are so used to thinking so far into the future that being "content" on a moment to moment basis is way too big a leap. I could not help noticing that my baby (only 8 months old) appears to not care for anything beyond the immediate present. I say that just to point out that all of us did have this ability which we have over years lost. It is certainly going to be a challenge to undo years of "conditioning" that has resulted in us being the way we are. I think a lot of patience and efforts will be required.

I also want to add that I cannot say with any certainity that such an approach will work. I don't know that yet. I just happen to want to share my thoughts on the topic. I am by no stretch of imagination an expert here. This blog in any case sounds quite preachy. Please don't take it too seriously. Give it some thought.